everybody needs an 'untitled'

do you ever just wanna know?
the layout in the creator's mind
when he decided your body was
worth it.
the form you are and the color of your hair
depending on the times you dye it

do you everrr JUST wanna know!?
the point is not my homework
and i know it's cool to recognize a
perfect fifth
or a four chord or
something
but i KNOW this isn't it

so, do you ever wanna KNOW?
what's locked up inside you
not meant to be behind
that bolted lock
guard dogs that don't exist
except in the form of a demonic
panic that can't let up
to the supernatural
that's
bigger.

a piercing bigger that lights up stadiums
when he opens the freezer
in the middle of the night
just jesus.
cruisin the merchandise.
i fully believe the lord eats ice cream.

when i'm sleeping he's not
weird
he talks when i'm conscious in him
but dead to this world
i only wish that was why i chronically do NOT wake up
on time

according to who?
yes
the real world tocks
and the real world ticks in the back of my neck
makes my eyes twitch if i'm exposed to
too much at once

i KNOW i'm supposed to exist in this world.
duh.
but i gotta wonder what my LORDDD wants for me
what if all i do is paint with water
making wet streaks that dry and fade
and are rarely enjoyable
except when it's 100 degrees outside.

i wanna see the
COLOR
i wanna feel the pull
to the right and the left
the swirls
the up and
the kitty corner
down to the left side
cockeyed
and beautiful.

i wanna live in that masterpiece
cuz a master he is
so let's see that work flowwww

do ya ever JUST
WANNA
KNOW

people!

can you feel that burning inside you
that you SWEAR
is NOT
a rash
is NOT
acid reflux
is NOT
a bad taco
(you might wanna get that checked)

a burrrrrn (where's shift+F7, i need a different adjective)
that makes your eyes water
with salt you
wonder
if it could flavor this earth
tears that gush from the simple KNOWING
you're right where he wants ya.

it couldn't feel better.
i don't WANT porn.
i don't WANT sex.
cuz this ring's not bling
cuz it don't exist
yet

and it's okay
not CAPS
because i don't feel that
'okay' word
as passionate as i do the others that
hit this screen more boldly then the rest.
but then my eyes water up and assist in
the removal of my makeup.
because i JUST
KNOW

that this burning inside that can
make me cry over spilled milk
or water
or nothing spilled, really
i know it means something.
something
something
something
suuuuuummmmmmmthiiiiiiiiiiiiingggggggggg

and maybe the answer's more clear then i think
but who can stand the time it takes
to get all emotional
and then sniff the snot
and go back to music theory
because this work ain't gon do itsayelf
and how
1
2
3
reasons why failing would
NOT
be cool.

but i DO just wanna cry
and i DO want to be held by the
LORD
MOST tightly
and MOST REAL. LY.
and i wanna know what he smells like, dangit.
i wanna know if he's got a five o'clock shadow
that he rubs on my face
just like dad does
to make me giggle and lighten the mood
and raise the dark that makes
my life
excessively
dramatic.
when the beauty is just beauty
and joy is just joy
and you get it cuz you do
and don't even THINK about thinking twice
cuz a child won't
and i've got a pretty simply mind
tending to overthink and overfreak

ressssssstttttttttttt
three people judging my last speech in oral comm told me to
brrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeatheeeeeeeeeee

i'm good at that when i am cuz i am
but then i get confused
and i lose it
and my heart's not light
and THAT BURDEN, jesus?!
IS NOT light. cuz yours is unattainable
in a mind that can't fathom faith
sometimes
sometimes
sometime.

if you fall and you call and you will find me
time after time
(those are the lyrics, right?)

jesus just sang me a sssooooooooonggggg.
not really one that hit me where
i need it... more like, just to fit with the pattern.
ha.
or something.
only said once this time.
after time.

who even needs a legitimate ending.