every time satan wants to screw you over and make you want stuff you don't have/aren't supposed to have or whatnot.. read your bible. or do something obviously constructive. i've found letting a thought of discontent stew for more than a second causes it to turn into a stinkin pot of BOILING crap that makes you hate your life.
totally unnecessary.
because down in, you really might be a happy person. you totally might have joy potential just under the surface. and cue this: that'll piss satan off. he'll be taking that away just as soon as possible. so. god knows the desires of your heart. take comfort. uh. satan does, too. isn't that nice. he'll throw a noose around your neck but you'll be the one that hangs yourself. if you love jesus then the only thing satan can do is tempt you. not force you to think or sulk in anything.
so, yep. needin some grace to be taking responsibility for the bunny trails leading nowhere somewhere behind my face. and who knew? i'll be immediately dingy and depressed-feeling after about five minutes of not going all out in jesus' name slamming those thoughts satan plants--or i plant..s-- in my brain. colors really aren't pretty anymore and squirrels and their twitchy-ness isn't cute, and the slightest obligations weigh heavy. and then i feel worth less then WORTHLESS and eventually...impendingly (i don't care if that's not a word)... i'll hang my head low and mope before the throne of the Lord. "o. OH. OHHHHH woe is me. my poor, poor unfortunate soul. so locked up in the demands of this life i call LIFE. so so OH SO much bondage. my face, Lord. Lord, do you see my face? it's scrunching. oh. oh my.. i'm crying. oh. OH. SOMEONE. HOLD ME!"
*crickets*
GAG A FREAKING MAGGOT! not that there aren't some times in life when you just need to be pathetic in front of jesus, but...my WORD, woman. do you not SEE what's happening here! satan gives you a knife and you slit your wrists. and cue: "man, OUCH, god! did you see what that devil just did? where you be!!? did you not SEE that?! man, where ARE you, man?"
i don't know why the back street accent. bear with me.
then i think, "okay. okay, fine. god's not talking to me. take out my ash and sackcloth...knew that burlap was good for somethin...DESPAIR! AGONY!"
*tree frogs*
well... folks.... it's gotten old. and, personally... welp, yeah... it's just gotten real old. satan's got bad plans for me, i've noticed. and when he laid out the blue prints of his plan for my life, i threw up my hands and weaped. like a jerk who is so dense IN the head and so stinkin' like a sheep OR turkey that looks up, mouth open, in a rain storm and DROWNS ITSELF. somethin's ringing a bell over here...almighty god? deliverer? defender... helper...fighter...healer....beat satan DOWNer... yep. i'm missin out on the bigness of my god.
thus. bible reading shall be quite helpful and all the more necessary. 1) for truth-filling and 2) for getting more informed on this 'big god' thing. looking forward to this.
so STOP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF. it's lame. what a waste.
p.s. read philippians 4.
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