My Family Doesn't Know (that they're being recorded)

i am NOT that kinda girl!

NO. i do not plan my life.
NO. i do not daydream about my future man.
NO. i have no desire to EVER have a white picket fence in my possession.
NO. i don't get excited to be pregnant and have sweet bouncing babies all over the fricken place.

i'm just not that girl. girls that are that girl are cool. but i'm not them. anyway..

you know the tin man off the wizard of oz? dorothy comes along and he's in miserable shape. he's all rusty and crap's stuck inside his joints and he's frozen in an awkward position. dorothy eventually grabs the oil can and greases him up and he slowly limbers up...what i'm going for here is the sound effect of the tin man's rusty joints being brought back into commission.

visual aid: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=louBM-Mix7s

that sound effect is how i've been feeling this week. started off solid and frozen and miserable. then, it's kinda felt like some of my rusty spots have been getting oiled by jesus...one joint at a time.

so, basically, it's been a long week. but NOW on friday, i feel lots better. and here's what god's been putting in my head. and i'm way excited about it.

k. here's what i wanna do in life. here's what i feel like GOD might wanna do with my life. how cool if he did. and if he decides otherwise, then i'm expecting something that, in my opinion, would be better suited for me. anyway. here we go:

i DO wanna work in the foster care system or in/around adoption agencies/orphanages.
i DO wanna work with "the least of these" (whoever they are and whatever they look like).
i DO wanna get married.
i DO wanna adopt kids and NEVER have my own. EVER. EVER. (this will be addressed prior dating my future husband. if he's not on board 100% then we AIN'T gettin hitched). so much so that i wanna get my tubes tied so that i can't have my own kids. and i never wanna be a surrogate mother because i think everyone should just adopt, anyway.
i DO wanna fight mortal combat the enemy and what he's trying to bring about in the United States. i used to wanna go overseas but the more i learn about the US the more i gotta weight in my gut that's telling me there's lots of hurt that needs helping here.
i DO wanna get married in a court house. i don't wanna spend money on things i don't care about. aka weddings. but, please, feel free to send gifts regardless. :)
i DO wanna dump my heart and energy into raising kids that we adopt and i REFUSE to let anyone else raise our kids. praying god will provide a way for me to be a stay at home mom. i won't agree to having kids if i can't be the one to raise them.
i DO wanna do whatever god wants and i WON'T be content with a mundane life. i don't need it to be hip and happenin all the time, but god's NEVER NOT passionate about stuff that's on his heart...so, i plan on him giving me the grace to keep a fire stoked in my gut about the things he cares about. cuz i wanna care about them, too.
and i DO plan on riding really big roller coasters every chance i get.
and it WOULD be awesome if my husband had a passion for stealing children out of brothels. i will drive the escape car. that'd be sweet. i heard somewhere that 90% of prostitutes at one time were in the foster care system.
WHICH brings us full circle. i wanna adopt. THE. END.

stoked.

procrastination with purpose.

is it stupid to write a blog about things that DO matter as a means of procrastinating studying for a test which ALSO really matters? um. yes. so, i'll keep this short.  click the link below to find out what i'm talking about.. goodness, it's stuff like this that makes me REALLY EXCITED to get out of college and maybe work for organizations like this. who knows. i mean, really. but this link strikes a chord in me and even if it doesn't strike anything in you, feel obligated to care anyway. pretty sure jesus cares. prrretty sure that was a guilt trip. sorry. k. but yeah. check it out. spread the word. do it. :)

Action Plan for Stopping Sex Exploitation (legit)

i keep a list inside a bucket.

learn how to ride a unicycle
run a marathon
learn how to play piano
own a pot belly pig
adopt kids (one of every color)
eat prepared fish (fish that are prepared for what? my consumption. my ATTEMPTED consumption)
cut my hair perrrty short
own and master a longboard
become accomplished at funny video-making
record music
write the music that i'll record (for what purpose? i'm not sure yet)
legit hike in the mountains
play the guitar well
scuba dive
hang glide
parasail
get launched off a giant blow up thing floating in a pond
swim in an ocean
ride crazy good roller coasters
become a wake boarder with real skill. mhmm.
own a wake board
go on a tandem bike ride in a foreign country

peeing makes sense.

so, here's the deal. this is why i'm hopeless.

firstly, i feel like my brain is something that needs somewhat of an introduction. my brain has been genetically formed, half, by mom and the other half by dad. dad=smart, logical, handy, fun.  mom=smart, handy, crazy fun, spontaneous.

this means, mathematically speaking, that my brain is logical depending on whether or not logical is fun. i'll be responsible when need be but i am by no means a kill joy. i'll jump on bandwagons (as long as they're not headed morally south) and i'll enjoy myself. for instance, i'll accept an invitation from a sleepy roommate to go get chocolate shakes at two in the morning. she suggests we wear side pony-tails. why? who cares. we just do it. and then my friend wants to get something pierced. have i always wanted extra holes in my face? i don't know, i guess i'm not opposed to it. so, where should the piercest put his needle for twenty bucks? ah, who cares, how bout my nose. boom. and why not, right?

then, my parents are both handy so, yes, i'll demand i don't need help changing my car's oil and i'll try my hand as make-up artist on a roommate that couldn't care less but HAS to care less because she's invited to a dance. fun stuff.

and my mom's spontaneous. and i'm a people person. so, i spontaneously book times to hang out with people. so much so sometimes, that i end up at the end of my day and i think to myself..."uh. self? you haven't read your bible yet." and then i decide that, WOW, my priorities suck and i'm incredibly unaccomplished in this life business. also a question to ponder is, HEY, am i busy for god or am i busy for ME? my answer=maybe both.

but i'm sinking, folks. i've got so much on my plate (relatively speaking) that i don't know where to start out every day. i know i've gotta list a mile long but, in that, i get so overwhelmed that i'd rather just sit on my couch and stare at a wall...trying to forget that i've everything to do... and trying to forget that i wouldn't have all this to do if i weren't so spontaneously irresponsible.

next step: call mom and ask her why i'm having so much difficulty growing up. she explains that i'm half her. she's a people person. she likes to be involved in people's lives. and she's constantly gotta reorder and rearrange and reTHINK how she plans her days because she--like me--can easily book herself into a scheduling corner in which she/we/ME barely have time to pee.

and, people, i NEED to pee in a day's time. just sayin.

so, i decide to buy a jumbo calendar and map out my time, down to the minute. and then i tell mom, "who am i kidding. i'll just use it for a week and then i'll drop it." i decide to focus in on fewer people but then i think, "who am i kidding. i'll get bored doing whatever it is i'll be doing by NOT hanging out with people and i'll schedule some hang out of sorts. and BAM. i'm extrovert-gone-crazy-for-the-sake-of-what?-again?"

mom laughs at me.

i say, "i'm hopeless. why even try."

crap. i can't handle this. but i cancel plans and work says "hey, we don't need ya today!" and i'll have all this free time to do ________ with. and then, i stare at that blank because, nope...um...can't figure out what to do. i told mom that if i have a couple hours to myself then i wouldn't know what to do with myself.

"MICAH. RELAX," you might say. i'll have you know that i am the QUEEN of relaxing. when i relax. when i can relax. when i can let go and not care and take a break. but...honestly...i'm incapable at this point and time.

i'm hopeless. sugar, we're goin down. SUCK! i don't wanna go down! intervention...hellooo....jesus, i need HELP.

x-men kitty.

i got to do THIS this weekend! if you look close you'll see tiny razor sharp claws jutting out of this kitties' paws. if the claws weren't an issue then i could definitely handle the nasty hissing these wild kittens make. but sheesh. and this is AFTER i fed it chicken broth and a raw egg.