braggin on the big guy.

this guy i know sits down next to me and says this (among other things), "y'know, i really don't know you that well but i'll just say it: i've struggled with depression."

i say, "join the club!"

he says, "it's genetic."

i say, "join the club!"

he says, "but you seem really happy and stuff..."

i say, "jesus."

he says, "yea, jesus points!"

i say, "jesus gets MAJOR points."

:)

jesus heals. if you're not healed yet, don't give up. jesus CAN and WANTS to heal.

i guarantee.

so, yep. just braggin on the big guy. less than three ALL over the place.

liza told me to keep 'em short. i was nauseated, myself.

how to sink into a life that hasn't happened yet. what the crap? to process everything that encompasses what i like and what i wanna do tomorrow and the days after... one thing: i like taking things a day at a time. so, picking a career path today that i'll like tomorrow? that's been kinda difficult, ya see.

i've tested the waters in lots of different areas. i like music but heaven help me (literally..i mean that..) if i'm not given outlets outside of teaching music everyday that allow me to be whoever the heck i wanna be on that given day. that sentence was confusing. moving on.

i'm not the teacher type. maybe because i value anything but routine on a daily basis. basically, i hate being teacher-y. and by teacher-y i mean: responsible, organized, and down to business. i like being those things when i need to be...i like being whatever i need to be to get a current job at hand done. however, lots of people probably think i'm irresponsible for my college messyness...(ask me if i care. youdonnknowme)...and, as a lifestyle, i'm really not organized and i'm also a goof. thus, destroying the 'down to business' category. most times, anyway. take for instance, today with my family at culvers i shot a baby tomato (from my mom's salad) out of my mouth at my sister who was sitting quite far from me. part of my grilled cheese flew out of my mouth at the same time as the tomato. mom picked up the soggy bread with her fork and put it back in my mouth.

i'm not a teacher. i'm the kid sitting in detention. let's be honest.

SO. i switched my major in college. aaand didn't save a dime doing it.. but. y'know. god provides. :)

fully aware of what assuming makes you and me.

(this is all being written by micah to jesus in a journal. in a restaurant. recently.)

so, i'm at this restaurant and i know this kid sitting a couple booths down. i assume the woman he's sitting with is his mom. he's probably 17 or something. from what i've heard this kid doesn't have a good family life. quite the polar opposite, actually.

i'm getting the idea that his mom wanted to try and spend time with him (maybe..) but he's just sitting there on his phone...talking to someone..about nothing. his supposed mom is sitting right across from him and he's texting when he's not talking to other people. he's not paying any attention to her. 

maybe she deserves it. but we all can use some forgiveness every now and then...maybe he's so burned out that, really, the only reason he came to this restaurant with his "mom"  was for the food she was most likely going to buy him. the only person SHE'S talking to is the waitress when asked if she wants a refill on her sierra mist. she does. 

this kid has no clue. maybe he knows a LOT. more than anybody will give him credit for. he's craving love and his mom's craving a redo. maybe not. maybe she doesn't house any regret. maybe she's a great mom. but she might be terrible. she might be flaky and acting out a bad version of how she was raised except, now, with her own son. 

his dad doesn't know what he's missing. i bet his son does. but maybe not, too. maybe his son thinks kids are better off without their parents. but he's got a cavern inside him. both father and son. maybe they're so busy occupying themselves with other things that no one notices the makeshift tarp covering that said cavern. maybe all people see is that they're the hardcore partying type. maybe his dad's a jack. maybe he's stoned. maybe leaving his son's mom was the only thing he thought he could do at the time. i wonder if he regrets that? does he love you, jesus?  

does this kid know anything good? does he possess any life skills that will help him discontinue old habits (die hard)? does he know that life BETTER exists? he HAS hope. his life CAN have legit meaning. he CAN know his creator. just seems like everything will be uphill for him, though.  

and now mom picks up the phone. she's pissed about work.

maybe they're a happy family. but praying they'll be a saved family. in jesus' name.