Men!! Why Now's the Time to BUY!

The headline of this post is unfortunate and irritation-filled.  Why? Because all I see nowadays are girls saying "Baby, I love you" to some of the shadiest, grossest boys they've scraped up I don't know where--maybe a back alley or underneath a fast food restaurant table. Who knows. Not me. Regardless, it's sick and totally unnecessary. So, men, time to buy is now because girls are settling for dirt cheap. Same can be said about boys settling for dumb girls...but, that's another blog..

I think girls get dumb. Love makes them weak or something. Companionship spins the wheels they've got somewhere. Someone that makes them feel less alone. Maybe not even necessarily someone who makes his girl feel wanted or valued...she just feels less alone. Well, it's a joke. I think some name me a 'love hater' or a 'hopeless unromantic', I don't know and I don't care. Why? Because girls are settling hugely all around me and it makes me want to vomit.

So. Females. Let's talk about the manhood of your man, shall we? Yeah. We shall. First off, does he love Jesus? None of this "he believes in God" crap. I don't give a rat's butthole if he believes in God. The majority of America believes in God; find an atheist and you've found a rarity, quite honestly. So, let's do our best to avoid naiivity and hit hard facts. 1) Does he read his Bible? How often? 2) Does he have the balls to apply what he reads in his Bible to his life? Second part to that question: Does he have the guts to make hard choices and live up to his convictions? Third part to that question: Does he HAVE convictions? And are they good ones?--like biblical ones? are they ones that keep him from sin in the modern world? 3) Does he actively pursue Jesus? Like, take the Christianese out of that question: is he legit--like for real, for real? I'm not asking if he's perfect but it IS a relevant question to ask if he's trrrying. For example, after he messes up does he do the whole 'repentant' thing with Jesus and the people he effected in his screw up? And THEN does he get back on track, full steam ahead?

That was some of the headers for the spiritual side of things...Now, how about other stuff. 1) Is he responsible? Is he a capable human being on his own? For instance, if no one was around to help him in any way, shape or form would he be able to get up and around and make something of himself? Which leads me to my second question. 2) Is he incapable? I kind of laugh at this one because the mental picture of an incapable guy is, to me, just funny. But, for REAL, I think girls have settled for marrying overly feminine boys who don't know the difference between 'righty-tighty and lefty-loosey'. Girls: is your boy smart? He needs to be. Does he have common sense? He needs to. Why? Because if both those needs are left unmet, you're gonna find yourself feeling pretty pissy on a daily basis. Especially if you're a fairly 'able' girl on your own. I'm not saying I think all girls' guys have to be proficient in all areas of mechanics and engineering (not that that would be a bad thing...I mean, let's be honest--it'd be pretty handy) and I'm not saying that a guy has to know how to do everything but I do think a guy should at least possess this: if he doesn't know how to do something, he'll have the smarts to find someone who does and then he'll learn how and do it. Does that make sense? He doesn't have to be genius but being resourceful, I think, makes a guy just as genius as anyone.

Is he smart with his money? Why that's important: because he's supposed to lead and support you plus potential family. AND because--call it old school and I'll shoot you--the GUY needs to be the one courting the girl. I believe that if a boy doesn't have a car to go pick up his girl in, then he shouldn't have a girl.  Does your guy have a JOB? Good question. If not a very good paying job, then does he have a SECOND JOB to make up for any financial issues?  I was reading in my Bible the following...and I feel it's applicable. Copy/Paste.

2 Thessalonians 3:6-12
           ⁶Now we command you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you keep away from any brother who is walking in idleness and not in accord with the tradition that you received from us. ⁷For you yourselves know how you ought to imitate us, because we were not idle when we were with you, ⁸nor did we eat anyone’s bread without paying for it, but with toil and labor we worked night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you. ⁹It was not because we do not have that right, but to give you in ourselves an example to imitate. ¹⁰For even when we were with you, we would give you this command: If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat. ¹¹For we hear that some among you walk in idleness, not busy at work, but busybodies. ¹²Now such persons we command and encourage in the Lord Jesus Christ to do their work quietly and to earn their own living.

Is your guy IDLE? Lots of people are...so think thoroughly and honestly. And, honestly, in answering all of these questions, feel free to be HARSH. I mean, if you're not going to do the leg work to make sure you're looking out for your own best interests then, well, I think you're stupid. Not incurably, just currently. God's got your best interests in mind and I think it's time more girls got spines to make sure THEY, themselves have their own best interests in mind. Why? Because otherwise your making trash out of the treasure God made you to be. And that would be a dumb thing to do. A dumb thing that if not made less dumb will stick with you FOREVER until you find yourself contemplating divorce because the man you chose to marry is a jack. Yeah. Who wants that? 

Next topic. Does he have a spine? Does he have opinons? Good ones? Does he have hobbies? Is he good at something? Is he passionate about stuff? Good stuff? Does he have things in common with you? Have you talked about deal breakers? Goooooood segway into next paragraph.

Have you talked about the necessary, somewhat uncomfortable stuff with him? If you haven't YOU NEED TO at earliest possible convenience. What's his past like (and if he hasn't asked YOU about YOUR past, then why hasn't he? He needs to care about where you've been. If he doesn't, I wonder, does he care about you? Don't be a wuss. Ask lots of questions.) Why'd he dump his last girlfriend? What about the one before that? How recent was his last relationship? Are you his rebound? Is he yours? Say it with me: Rebound=CAUTION! When did he get saved? How long has he loved Jesus? What's his history been like since he's loved Jesus? Say it with me: baby Christians are awesome but ARE NOT DATING MATERIAL! Why, girls?! Because the DUDE has to be the spiritual leader and praise God for his conversion but if he's learning the basics he's not going to be able to lead; maybe someday but not today...or next week...or six months from now. Let's wait at least a year and see how things are going. Don't be in a hurry. If you're too antsy to wait a year keeping a good distance at all times, then you're probably immature yourself and going after that relationship for bad reasons. Wait. Wait. Wait. WAIT! And I mean, for real, a broken, hurt heart hurts too stinking much for you to rush or even walk briskly into a relationship. Don't be in a hurry in any way, shape or form. DON'T DO IT!

Does he use people? He might be nice about it and make it hard to catch, at first. But look closer. Is he a user? Refer back to verse copied and pasted above.

Does he love people? Is he selfless? Is he generous and wise at the same time? Is he nice to old people? Is he nice and respectful of his parents? Is he humble? Does he speak well of people? How's he act with his mom and sisters? I know that's a typical question but, for real, would you mind if he treated you the same way he treated his mom? Read into the situation and judge--would you mind it? Does he turn the channel when TV gets smutty? Check the history on his computer---what's he look at? And how often does he clear his history? Good question. Why? Because if he clears his history often maybe it's because there are things he'd rather not be found by paper trail. I know it sounds like I'm going all 'Sydney Bristow, CIA' but, come on!, this is the rest of your life we're talking about. Don't get stuck with an addicted perv. What are his bad habits? Is he actively trying to get rid of them?

Can you trust him? Do other people trust him? Do respectable people speak highly of him? Does he have friends? What kind of friends? How does he act around them? What do his friends say about him? DOES HE PROTECT YOUR PURITY? Ask THAT question and don't waste time lying to yourself. Yeah, girl, you've got a say and a role in how things go down after the sun does, but when push comes to shove, the man needs to be the one calling it a night before even the surface levels of your purity are tapped. Don't even THINK about saying "well, I messed up too, so I can't blame him for everything"...true, fine. You're guilty, too, but do can you seriously believe that makes the overall situation more pure? WRONG. Just because there's two people to blame instead of one makes the situation WORSE--say it with me, now--WORSE. Not better. And it doesn't make your guy more of a winner. Truth is you need to be asking whether or not--and don't waste anybodies time by lying to yourself--he likes YOU or the hormonal buzz he gets whenever you kiss him. When he says "I truly, truly love you" is he really saying "I am really really horny and you are really really attractive." HMMM??? For serious, I don't care if you're offended and I don't care if he's the leader of a junior high youth group studying under your senior pastor. And hey, girl! Ask yourself the same question. Do you actually LIKE him for legit, long-lasting reasons? Not saying that being physically attracted to a person is of the devil, I'm just saying (the word 'just' not minimizing this next part) that BEFORE MARRIAGE is not the time for you to be getting all up and hot with each other. At all. Copy/Paste.

2 Timothy 2:22
         So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.

Booya. There's the money-maker right there. That's the relationship that's gonna experience the blessing from the LORD. And you think your relationship is good without blessing from the Lord? Picture blessing from the Lord added to your already 'blossoming love' and try and tell me that wouldn't be awesome. If you try, then you're dumb. Not incurably, just currently.

Goodness, I'm getting tired but the list could go on, people! Start asking more questions than you already are. Don't have 'faith that God's gonna work it out'. FIGURE OUT if your relationship is worthwhile! And fess up to the red flags you find and don't be an idiot by bypassing those red flags. For reals, as you go, if you keep finding red flags don't try and go all Bob Vila and consider your man your 'project' or your 'fixer upper'. If you do you're selling yourself so unbearably short and, honestly--not even being a snot..I scream this from my heart that, I promise you, exists--DUMP HIM. Get out while you still can! Why would you expect God to give you the best man ever if you keep insisting on settling for trash? The guy doesn't even have to be trash for you to dump him. Basically, just don't settle, okay? I don't care if you end up 30 and guy-less. The stress of a bad relationship isn't better than loneliness. Guaranteed. And that's coming from me, a chick whose five friends are all engaged and walking down aisles. Alright? Suck it up. Get stubborn and be willing to be in it for the long haul. The guy God's got in store is waiting, too. Don't sell out. And if you find yourself even slightly disappointed with who God gave you as 'best' then you're probably not with the guy God's gonna give you as 'BEST'. Dump him. Cry. And be in it for the long, maybe short, wait. It'll be worth it.

And females read up on who you're supposed to be according to what the Bible says. It's good stuff and worth writing about in this blog...but, quite honestly, I don't wanna write more and you don't wanna read more--that's if you've made it this far.

So. That's it. Oh, and mom told me to write, as well:
    If you're a man and not outrageously young or old and you think you line up with the things I talked about in this novel.....Call me. (baaaahahhaaa)